johanna (carrot_teeth) wrote,

shiny shiny dull dull

so last night i helped put on a gig, despite the fact i promised myself i never would ever again. there was stress and a few moments of remembering why i never wanted to put gigs on again (everyone in bands seeming miserable/why is no one here?/why is the lady downstairs so weird? etc etc) and although gruel missed out on some theatrics it was still really good fun. i was pleased that a lot of good people came that wouldn't usually be at gigs because it made it more fun.
then i came home and fell asleep on the sofa with gin.

tomorrow i'm going on a holiday with me mam to cornwall. i'm very excited. we have never been away with just the 2 of us, with my sister being younger and all. i think we will have a good bonding time, i like having time with her. i also realised that it will be a good opportunity to not drink everyday, like i love to do. better make sure i get a couple of pints in this afternoon, don't want my body to get too smug. keep it on it's toes.

i am feeling a bit aimless in general, after finishing my first year at school it's a bit like finishing school when i used to go there as a youth, innit. i remember the summer after my gcse's when i spent the whole time sitting on my wall in the sun, pining after andy (ha!) and feeling bored. so i'm finding it hard to celebrate and spend my time wisely, even though i'm fucking well pleased with myself for managing that year at school.

so hopefully this time away will help me clear my weak mind and i will come back full of power. then my next holiday will be off to shambala to see the wales friends! hippy festivals here i come.
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